Patawa

SIR: Inday, c Sir mo 2..bangga kotse ko and i nid cash!

INDAY: Aru!!! dugo-dugo gang ka noh!

SIR: Gaga! c Sir mo talaga to!

INDAY: Gago! c Sir ang tawag saken CUPCAKE!!!!

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TEACHER: Anong mangyayari pag puputulin ang 1 mong tenga?

BOY: hihina po pandinig ko.

TEACHER: e kung dalawang tenga?

BOY: lalabo po paningin ko!

TEACHER: baket naman?

BOY: malalaglag po salamin ko.

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Dalawang magkaibigan nagtetext....

PEPE: Tol! pasa load namn! 2pesos lang, my katx lng me.

Tol: cge. w8 lng.

(message sent)

Pepe: Tnx tol! bait mo talaga!

Tol: Gago! wag ka na magtex! sayang ung pinasa ko sayo!!!

Pepe: k.

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ERAP: doc, i accidentally swallowed a chicken bone.

DOC: is it choking?

ERAP: it's max's.

DOC: i didnt mean chowking...i said, r u choking?

ERAP: no.. im serious!

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a priest lost a bird & asked during mass...

Priest: anyone got a bird?

all men stood up.

Priest: i mean, any1 seen a bird?

all women stood up.

Priest: i meant any1 seen my bird?

...all nuns stood up

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ATTY: Inday! pwede mo bng idiscribe d2 sa korte ang taong nangrape sayo?

INDAY: maitim, panot, tagyawatin, pango ilong at bungal...

SUSPEK: cge!!!!...mangasar ka pa!!!!

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dalawang madre nirereyp ng goons....
Madre1: diyos ko! patawarin mo po cla...d nila alam ang kanilang
ginagawa.

Madre2: ay yung sakin marunong!!!!

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dumating c ngongo sa bahay at tinakpan ang eyes ni misis....

Ngongo: "nges hu?"....

MRS: gago!!!! pa-nges hu nges hu ka pa jan....e ikaw lng ngongo d2!!!!

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Dentist & Lover....

Dentist: we have 2 stop seeing each other... halata na tayo ng MR mo.

Lover: but we love each other!

Dentist: oo nga...but were running out of excuses....ISA NA LNG IPIN MO!

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Erap: lintek na ibon 2!! iniputan ako!

Bodyguard: sir, kukuha ako ng toilet paper...

Erap: wag na!! pano mo pa mapupunasan un e nakalipad na?! tanga!!!
bobo!!!
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Arab interview at US immigration:

Q: ur name pls..

A: abdul aziz

Q: sex?

A: twice a wik..

Q: i mean male or female?

A: doesn't matter.... sometimes even with camel...


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Patient: dok. malungkot d2 sa mental kaya naisipan kong sulatan ang
sarili ko...

Doc: e ano namn laman ng sulat mo?

Patient: d ko pa po alam kc next wik ko pa ata matatangap...
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Jingoy: Dad, 22o bang may side effect ang viagra?

Erap: tanga! sa harap effect nyan hindi sa side!!!!
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Wife: honey... bili mo naman ako ng bra...

Husband: Hon.. wag ka ng magbra...liit namn dede mo e..

Wife: (taas ang kilay) e baket ikaw nakabrief?!!

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u wont beliv wat things

people do these days...

i was sitting nxt

2 dis girl in church

& in the middle of the mass

she light a cigaret!

na-shock ako!!!!...

i almost dropped my Beer!!!!