Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Tawa ka lang dyan

Bugtungan
Patpat mong matigas
Labas masok sa butas,
Pag iyong idiin, giniling-giling
Kiliti and mararating.
Ano ito?............


Cotton buds! Wag daw dumi isip, bad iyan.





Pulis: Bakit mo inihagis ang bata sa bintana?
Yaya: Sinunod ko lang po ang utos ng amo ko.
Sabi po ng amo ko, 'wala na tayong Pampers,
i- Huggies mo na lang si baby.





What is the most impressive example of Tolerance?

Ah! Golden Wedding Anniversary!





Applicants
2 girls nag-aaply ng work. 1 matalino, 1 bobo
Matalino: Buti ka pa natanggap. Ano ba ginawa mo?
Bobo: Wala. Nung nag-fill up me ng form, nilagay ko
sa Sex, sure.





Teacher: Write a short story in a few words discussing
Religion, Sexuality and Mystery.
Student wrote: "My God! I'm pregnant. I wonder who
the father is?"





Sensitive Child
1st day in school...
Mom to teacher - Very sensitive po ang anak ko.
Kung kailangan nyo po parusahan,
Sampalin nyo na lang po ang katabi nya.
matatakot na 'yan!





Love and Marriage Cycle
1-2 yrs : magkasalo sa plato
3-5 yrs : tig-isang plato
5-7 yrs : nagbabatuhan na ng plato
8-10 yrs : wala na silang plato
That is what we call PLATOnic love!





3 brothers named Bu, Chu and Fu migrated to USA from China.
They decided to change their name :
Bu became Buck
Chu became Chuck.
Fu decided to go back to China .





Man : I want to divorce my wife. She hasn't spoken to me
i n 6 months.
Lawyer: Better think it over. Wives like that are very hard to find!





Do you know why bra makers measure cup size by "A B C D E F "?
A - almost gone
B - barelly noticeable
C - comfortable
D - damn good
E - exremely big and
F - Fake





Learning French

City - ce vou
Drug - sha vou
Good bye - va vou
Bald - cal vou
Caught in the act - navo cou
Feathers - valahi vou
Not clear - mala vou
Cute - a cou





Chalk
Amo : 'Day, ang chalk na ito para mamatay ang ipis.
Gamitin mo sa pader.
Maid : Opo, ati.
Next day ......
Nagulat ang amo, nakasulat sa pader...
"Epes mamatay kayong lahat!"





Katapusan
Lumindol ng malakas noon....
Nagkagulo and lahat at nag-panic.
Sumigaw ang isang lalake..
"Katapusan na! Katapusan na!"
Sumagot ang isa pang lalake..
"t*nga, a kinse pa lang."