husband & wife

Mag-asawa having sex...
HUSBAND: Honey, mag dirty talk ka naman para ganahan ako!
WIFE: Ahhh...Shit! Basuraaa... Kanal... Taeee...Oooh... Patay na
dagaaaa....alipunga ......ohh cge paaaaaa ...libag..anghittttt...!

due to her friends advice... this unsatisfied wife secretly mixed 3 powdered viagra on the spaghetti her husband was eating.... after 30 minutes.... at an instant.. herhusband grab her and carry her to the bedroom and the fun begins.... minuteslater...he shouted for help!!! his stomach was aching seriously!! ...he was rushed to the hospital....and died! XRAY results showed stiff, hard and potruding spahetti was the cause of death!!!!! .......ngeeeeek( pati noodles tumigas!)

~~~Nagpunta si Tandang Kulas sa kanyang doktor, "Doc, 80-years old na ako bukas, meron akong binayarang hooker pupunta sa apartment ko mamayang gabi, pwede bang bigyan mo ako ng pampatigas.....Tumawa ang doktor, " Hinde ko binibigay sa mga pasyente ko ito, pero para sa iyo, exception lang para ngayong gabi!......Tinawagan ng doktor ang matanda sa gabing yun at tinanong ang kanyang kalagayan. Sagot naman ng matanda, "Doc, magaling ka talaga, tatlong beses na akong pinutukan!"......."Ayos", sabi ng doktor, " Di tuwang tuwa yung hooker?".......Sagot ng matanda, " Wala pa siya dito, hinihintay ko pa!" ~~~Ngeehh