Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Filipinisms 101

These are the words that are so unique and loaded in
meaning that they will never find a direct translation
in the English language. Forget traditional
dictionaries. keep this.

1. Achuchu (A-chu-chu). This refers to the pointless
insincerities being
said during long, involved conversations about nothing
at all.

2. Ano (A-noh) The all-around, all-purpose word for

(1) Pronoun in interrogation: Ano? (What)

(2) Noun: Where is your ano? (Where is your

(3) Verb: Anuhin this. (Paint/kill/maim/castrate

(4) Adjective: This is so ano. (This is so

(5) Interjection: Ano! (What the hell!)

(6) Substitute for genitalia: Did you ano your ano?

The use of ano is quite dangerous for the untrained
ear, and must be put
into the proper setting. "Honey, the ano is too long,
we have to cut it,"
must be accompanied by the proper understanding of the
context, as results
may be critical to a couple's future.

3. Booba (boo-bah). A female blessed with larger than
usual mammary glands,
which can be used as weapons of mass destruction.

4. Checheboreche (Che-che-boh-re-che) Same as achuchu.
It is interesting to
ponder on the reason why there are so many words in
the Filipino language
that beautifully describe meaningless chatter.

5. Epal (Eh-pal). An individual who believes he is

6. Gigil (gee-gil). An uncontrollable desire to bite

7. Hipon (Hee-pon). Literally "shrimp," whose body is
eaten while its head
is thrown away, this refers to a female whose body is
to die for and whose
face looks like it belongs to the dead.

8. Kikay (kee-kay). Refers to individuals who carry a
brush, hand wash,
moisturizer, lip-gloss and various other facial
enhancements in a case
(aptly called a kikay kit) inside her bag. Recent
inspections of various
backpacks have led to the conclusion it is not a
purely female trait. This
breed cannot resist checking themselves out on
mirrors, glass windows,
knives, sidewalk puddles and plastic-covered

9. Kaekekan (Ka-ek-e-kahn) Same as achuchu and

10. Kilig (keel-leg). A rush of excitement due to the
actions, presence or
even mention of he whom you see as the future father
of your children.

11. Laglag-brip (lag-lag-brip). The female counterpart
of laglag-panti

12. Laglag-panti (lag-lag-pan-tee). A man so
incredibly hot, so
heart-stoppingly gorgeous and oozing with masculinity
that female underwear
(whether worn by males or females) falls to the ground
without effort

13. Indyanero (In-jan-neh-ro). An individual who fails
to appear at an
appointment without prior warning. Not to be confused
with individuals who
appear according to Filipino time (approximately 10
minutes before the
meeting is to end)

14. Japorms (Jah-porms). Describes an individual
dressed differently from
the usual (typically involves clothes that have been
laundered and pant
of roughly the same length).

15. Lagot (Lah-got) A prophesy of evil things to come.

16. Para (Pah-rah). A term that informs the driver of
a jeep to stop and
pause (usually in the middle of the road) as the
individual speaking
to leave the vehicle. Dangerous for individuals as
drivers seem to believe
having one foot in the air is all that is necessary
for descent.

17. Takusa (Ta-kuh-sa). Derived from takot sa asawa
(afraid of wife), this
is a term used to describe the silent (very silent)
minority of males
married to feminine reincarnations of Hitler.

18. Torpe (tore-peh). A gentleman who is desperately
attracted to a female
yet by some strange compulsion is reduced to a frozen
mound of stuttering
male whenever that female is near.

Armed with this list and a smile, you will be sure to
make the proper
impression not just on your new relations, but on your
loved one as well.
Now let's practice:

"Honey, when I first saw you, I made laglag brip, and
was almost torpe.
When I finally got the nerve to date you, I almost
became indyanero, because I
didn't think I had the right japorms. When you're
around, I'm kilig, when
you're not, I get gigil. You may think all this is
achuchu, kaekekan, just
chechecoreche, but in truth, my love, I'm so ano with